I'm pretty sure I was who Shakespeare was referencing when he wrote "green-eyed monster" in Othello. I am an insanely jealous person.
Not so much about material things.
I don't care if you have a nice car, or if you have nice clothes (well I kind of care--like where you purchased them from, but I'm pretty sure that is another topic).
But.
I am really jealous of people who have an insane amount of privilege AND they don't realize it.
Or.
They realize it and squander it.
This all began upon listening to an old Savage Love podcast (which is a godsend when I'm about to stab my eyes out writing copy for glitter-bomb sweatshirts). A caller was wondering what to do because she was dating an older man that her parents didn't approve of, and they were threatening to cut her off financially. She was getting her bachelor's degree in something that required her to continue on to graduate school. So she was going through a first-world Sophie's Choice.
Because, you know who put me through college?
ME.
The plus side: I could do whatever I wanted during my college years (which are still going on by the way). This meant I could move in with a boy I like. Or not go to class because I didn't feel like it. I didn't have grades to keep up or anyone to answer to financially.
The down side:
I had to work through college. I still have to work through college. This not only means that I don't have the free time that other students have, but I don't have the option of getting an unpaid internship which could give me other connections/experiences which could help me get a job/ins/contacts for the future.
And this is just the business side of things. As a graduate student who works full time, I'm unable to attend roundtable/brown-bag lunches and/or take part in other academic endeavors that tend to take place during the work day. While my work is currently VERY flexible (and I am SO VERY THANKFUL FOR THAT), they aren't THAT flexible. I can't take two hour lunches without me staying until 8pm, which would then cut into my homework time and...you see where this is going?
AND I HAVE IT EASY.
I am an adult. I know I have to do certain things, and I have made certain choices. I chose to go to graduate school when I didn't have an assistantship. I could have quit my full time job, but I was left with a house due to a split, yadda yadda yadda. I understand that these are the choices I've made.
But think about people who aren't as fortunate as me.
There is an excellent New York Times article which talks about this issue in depth, by following three low-income girls who succeeded in high-school but are having a tough time succeeding in college. It's a class issue. I was raised in a middle class family, or maybe I just thought I was? Except for my first semester of college, I went to public, state schools. Upon completion of my master's, I will have $40g+ of debt.
College costs are going up. It's not fair (and yeah, I know life isn't fair. I'm just venting), but what are people/kids supposed to do? Think of those who don't have flexible jobs, or people with kids who are trying to better their position? How are they supposed to compete with those who don't have those responsibilities?
I don't have answers.
I'm not saying that my life is SO HARD.
Cos it isn't.
I love school. I actually do really like my job. I am super-duper fortunate that I even have a job and an undergraduate degree and an almost master's (first one in my family, yo!). But sometimes, I get a little testy when I hear people complain about their free money getting taken away. People get by on so much less all the time. And I sometimes wish people would be cognizant of that. Not everyone has the luxury of pulling allnighters or going for that internship.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Vegan Challenge Week One: COMPLETE!
You may or may not know that I'm participating in a psuedo-family vegan challenge. My aunt and a couple of uncles are taking part as well. And....
IT'S GOING REALLY WELL!
I'm super broke, and thus can't be super creative yet. And I've had to use what I've had in my pantry, which isn't a whole lot (I moved in November and got rid of a TON of stuff).
So.
With that in mind, I think the challenge is going really well.
While I've had to fall back on a couple of old stand-bys:
IT'S GOING REALLY WELL!
I'm super broke, and thus can't be super creative yet. And I've had to use what I've had in my pantry, which isn't a whole lot (I moved in November and got rid of a TON of stuff).
So.
With that in mind, I think the challenge is going really well.
While I've had to fall back on a couple of old stand-bys:
- veggie refried beans/onions/lettuce burrito
- pasta with red sauce and/or olive oil and veggies
- salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar drizzled over it
- vegan bread from an AMAZING local bakery, Rocket Baby (full disclosure, the owners are friends of mine and I have worked part-time for them in the past. WITH that being said, I don't live in the neighborhood and will be back when my current bread supply runs out).
- a terrific vegan chili from The Vegan Slow Coooker, which when I get paid, will be a mother-loving god send. Even if you're not a vegetarian or vegan, this cookbook has amazing recipes for the slow cooker.
Pros:
I am being more creative with cooking/using up what I have.
I always look at labels, so that hasn't been too different.
The fake butter isn't awesome, but it isn't terrible and it's half the calories of regular butter (yes, okay, FINE. I would be lying if I said I wasn't doing this to lose a little weight. I'm not a big fan of the way I look right now, and I'm hoping this, as well as the other regimens I've implemented) will help me tackle that).
Oh! And it's cheap! Not buying cheese or milk is fairly easy on the budget.
Yellow Tail reds are vegan (actually, their whole website is super helpful and says upfront which wines are vegan AND gives nutritional information)!
Cons:
I'm craving sweets? I don't know if this has to do with me being vegan-y, but I almost bought a pack of windmill cookies at Walgreens!?! What!? Totally not me, and in the end I didn't do it, but...
Wine. A. LOT. of wine is not vegan. As I'm really trying hard to not be a super huge burden on people, I have drank some wine that isn't for sure vegan. Barnivore has been a godsend in regards to booze, but it has sadly informed me that cider and certain wines I like are not vegan.
Since I'm cooking almost everything, the clean-up SUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKSSSSS.
All in all.
I feel good.
Energy is decent.
Excited to make new things!
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
On Disappointment
Lo!
It seems like it was only yesterday that I was pining for a position that I interviewed for, thought I would actually be good at, AND actually wanted.
The times, they are a-changing.
It was brought to my attention today from my HR rep, that not only did I not get the job.
I didn't even advance on to the second round.
BURN.
A status update on facebook, some insider info, and I feel a little better.
But not much.
While it's nice to cling to those "Something better is on the way!"
or
"It wasn't meant to be!" it's not necessarily guaranteed is it?
I suppose these sentiments could be true.
But it could also be true that I lose my job, and die a homeless person.
In which case, something better wouldn't be on the way.
It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiments.
I do, I really REALLY do.
And this whole short stay at Pity-Me Pines has me thankful for the things that I do have:
Friends! Super duper awesome friends who loan me money and buy me drinks when I have zero dollahs.
An awesome flat in an awesome neighborhood!
Two ridiculous dogs!
A secret trip to murdershack/rapecave/Chicago/??? with a bf who is cute/funny/smart and actually seems to dig me!
An actual job with friends who keep me sane and sometimes wish I could see outside of the workday!
But the whole "it gets better" is really something only privileged people can say.
Because it doesn't always get better.
SO.
I'm extremely grateful to be privileged enough to believe that things will get better.
Fresh start. All that mumbo jumbo.
And in all honesty, I might be a secret optimist. And maybe that's why me not even advancing has really gotten to me. Do they even know how super awesome I am to work with and just know generally???
Onward.
Upward?
Forward.
In other news
Vegan Challenge:
Day three! Even had the Stone Creek barista check the chai to make sure there wasn't any honey!
Veggie burgers and pasta are saving my broke arse right now. But thus far, I feel good. I'm not overly tired. I think the The Vegan Slowcooker is going to save my life and I can't wait to stock up on groceries to make almost everything in it. Even when this challenge is over.
School!
Grade came in. While it's not a grade most grad students would be proud, after my semester of nervous breakdowns (including one during a meeting with said professor), falling behind, and general inefficiency--I really, really couldn't be happier. AND! I'm actually excited for the new semester to begin! Feminism and US Film!?!?! Splooge central.
Maybe me not getting this job is subtle hint to pursue the PhD? Unsure at this point. Need to utilize my ovaries and not be such a baby about everything (CFPs, writing in general). Will keep you posted.
Blogging!
What?
A BLOG TWO DAYS IN A ROW!?!?!!?!
Try not to pee with excitement.
Brewers.
LeSigh.
My bittersweet Brew Crew. How I love thee.
Nosebleed 10-pack will be purchased and I promise to follow you more closely.
But not necessarily spring training, cos we all know that is no great predictor.
GAH!
(biting nails, shaking knee)
Excited.
It seems like it was only yesterday that I was pining for a position that I interviewed for, thought I would actually be good at, AND actually wanted.
The times, they are a-changing.
It was brought to my attention today from my HR rep, that not only did I not get the job.
I didn't even advance on to the second round.
BURN.
A status update on facebook, some insider info, and I feel a little better.
But not much.
While it's nice to cling to those "Something better is on the way!"
or
"It wasn't meant to be!" it's not necessarily guaranteed is it?
I suppose these sentiments could be true.
But it could also be true that I lose my job, and die a homeless person.
In which case, something better wouldn't be on the way.
It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiments.
I do, I really REALLY do.
And this whole short stay at Pity-Me Pines has me thankful for the things that I do have:
Friends! Super duper awesome friends who loan me money and buy me drinks when I have zero dollahs.
An awesome flat in an awesome neighborhood!
Two ridiculous dogs!
A secret trip to murdershack/rapecave/Chicago/??? with a bf who is cute/funny/smart and actually seems to dig me!
An actual job with friends who keep me sane and sometimes wish I could see outside of the workday!
But the whole "it gets better" is really something only privileged people can say.
Because it doesn't always get better.
SO.
I'm extremely grateful to be privileged enough to believe that things will get better.
Fresh start. All that mumbo jumbo.
And in all honesty, I might be a secret optimist. And maybe that's why me not even advancing has really gotten to me. Do they even know how super awesome I am to work with and just know generally???
Onward.
Upward?
Forward.
In other news
Vegan Challenge:
Day three! Even had the Stone Creek barista check the chai to make sure there wasn't any honey!
Veggie burgers and pasta are saving my broke arse right now. But thus far, I feel good. I'm not overly tired. I think the The Vegan Slowcooker is going to save my life and I can't wait to stock up on groceries to make almost everything in it. Even when this challenge is over.
School!
Grade came in. While it's not a grade most grad students would be proud, after my semester of nervous breakdowns (including one during a meeting with said professor), falling behind, and general inefficiency--I really, really couldn't be happier. AND! I'm actually excited for the new semester to begin! Feminism and US Film!?!?! Splooge central.
Maybe me not getting this job is subtle hint to pursue the PhD? Unsure at this point. Need to utilize my ovaries and not be such a baby about everything (CFPs, writing in general). Will keep you posted.
Blogging!
What?
A BLOG TWO DAYS IN A ROW!?!?!!?!
Try not to pee with excitement.
Brewers.
LeSigh.
My bittersweet Brew Crew. How I love thee.
Nosebleed 10-pack will be purchased and I promise to follow you more closely.
But not necessarily spring training, cos we all know that is no great predictor.
GAH!
(biting nails, shaking knee)
Excited.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Obligatory New Year's Post: Setting My Intentions
What a world. What a world.
After celebrating in amazing style, class, and overindulgence with some fabulous friends. And taking a well-deserved day off from life, watching the League with the bf, I have now decided to state my intentions for the year.
#burchveganchallenge2013
It has come to my attentions that two of my relatives, and myself, are all taking part in a vegan challenge.
Will it be hard?
Probably.
Has it been hard?
Not yet.
Will I get thru it?
I don't know! Enough with all the questions!
My goal for this challenge is to cook more, and eat more plant-based food rather than always going for a frozen pizza or fake meat as my fall-back.
Thus far (and let's be real, I'm on day 2).
Things have been fabulous, although not all that plant-based. I'm thinking of keeping more detailed challenge-related progress in a different blog, but who knows. Will keep you little minxes posted.
#wearethebestones
Keep trying to be the best at everything I want to be good at.
Writing. Knitting. Cooking. Awesomeness. Jocularity. Pithiness.
Why not?
#iloveus
Ensuring to make time for those that bring me happiness and joy and ridiculousness and try to sever less enjoyable bonds.
This could be the hardest intention yet.
(That sounded really diabolical. But I didn't mean it that way.)
#lazybloggersoftheworldunite
I really REALLY would love to blog more.
I am like a dog and I thrive on routine..
But I very rarely have one.
So.
I'm going to try hard to keep up this blog, and try to ensure I have interesting things to say.
#regularresolutions
Things I say I'm gonna do all the time:
Exercise more!
Eat better!
Budget!
But if I keep trying, I suppose something has got to stick.
In other news.
I want to watch Raging Bull again, after listening to a podcast from Scorsese's editor.
This also has made me want to blog about AFI's top films and my thoughts on them and the role women play in them.
I'm not saying this hasn't been done, or that I'd be good at it. I just want to try it out.
That is all.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
Oh My God We're Back Again
Yeah. Yeah.
It's been a while.
School.
Stress.
Whole lotta excuses.
Not enough writing.
And.
I MISS IT.
It's been so long.
I feel like the door knocker in Labyrinth that has the knocker in his mouth until Sarah takes it out.
As you can see not much has changed.
Still referencing Labyrinth at every turn.
Oh.
But things HAVE changed.
Make new friends.
Keep the old
One is silver (sing it with me!)
And the other gold.
Newness:
New flat! I moved out of my old, decrepit Misfit Greyhound Manor and am currently residing in Flat of the Misfit Greys. Riverwest! I can walk to get coffee! A lovely tradition my bf and I have taken to on Sunday mornings
WAIT> WHAT!?!?!?!?!
A BF!?!?!
Frankie say Relax. I will get to it in a minute.
IN A MINUTE.
I can walk to bars! Bars I actually go to and want to patron!
Restaurants!
A food co-op!
A video co-op!
School
ALL WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE.
AND! As an added bonus, my great-grandmother used to live on this very street! LIKE TWO BLOCKS AWAY!
If you knew about my family's obsession with former Milwaukee residences, you would understand why that is in all caps.
It's real.
I'm.
I'm real.
BF:
Like I totally have a bf.
And I actually like him!
A lot.
He is cute, smart, funny and good at things and makes up songs about everyday objects much like I do.
He likes ska, but not everyone is perfect.
#LULZING
#JK
(notreally)
#wink
OH!
And he seems to dig my friends and I dig his!
D'awwww.
Too much cuteness right now.
Let's dial it back a notch, kids.
WORK
I interviewed for a new position today! WHAT!?!?
AND.
I actually REALLY want the job. I think it would be awesome/exciting/busy and expand my professional base.
I know.
Where is the snarky tall girl with total apathy about her job.
Look guys.
You can only write "fun and flirty" "sassy and stylish" "cozy and comfy" so many times before all the Cat Harvest sweatshirts start to look alike.
SCHOOL
Well the news can't all be amazing and full of CAPS and #HASHTAGS
School is challenging. Did you know that I had a breakdown in my professor's office? That was awesome. Like a full on, almost sobbing breakdown.
I like to keep it classy.
Egads.
But. I've learned I"m fairly interested in horror and The Walking Dead is a really good show.
I still love Cheetos, wine, carbs.
New to this list: pad thai and dark and stormys and manhattans. Seriously.
I could eat it almost everyday.
ALMOST.
But honestly.
How classy is that list?
It's okay mate, you don't have to say it.
My dogs are still ridiculous.
Topper=lovable grumpy old man (except he's not really old)
Kessie= spry, sassy older woman.
I am contemplating starting a blog about them and their antics.
Mostly the blog would be making up songs about them.
Because that talent needs to be shared.
Be on the lookout of a Topper-fied version of Sympathy for the Devil.
Oh, it's in me.
It's with sadness I announce that I did not do ANYTHING for Hanukkah this year.
Whereas last year Hanukkah (and the Wineauxrah!) were the highlights of my holiday season, this year Christmas/New Years really has to bring it.
Well.
New Years will for sure.
FANCY FROCKS AND FABULOUS FIZZY DRINKS!
If I had a functioning laptop/computer, I would link to Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "I Believe In Father Christmas."
Why?
Cos it's snowing and I just heard almost all of King Crimson's debut album, and I might just become someone who's really into prog. Just saying. (If you can't make that connection on your own, Greg Lake was one of the founding members of King Crimson, but left to join the eponymous Emerson, Lake, and Palmer--Law firm or rock band?)
Thursday night on WMSE is quite possibly the best radio in all of the land.
So this is a totally selfish ME ME ME blog.
But what blogs aren't?
It's been a while.
School.
Stress.
Whole lotta excuses.
Not enough writing.
And.
I MISS IT.
It's been so long.
I feel like the door knocker in Labyrinth that has the knocker in his mouth until Sarah takes it out.
As you can see not much has changed.
Still referencing Labyrinth at every turn.
Oh.
But things HAVE changed.
Make new friends.
Keep the old
One is silver (sing it with me!)
And the other gold.
Newness:
New flat! I moved out of my old, decrepit Misfit Greyhound Manor and am currently residing in Flat of the Misfit Greys. Riverwest! I can walk to get coffee! A lovely tradition my bf and I have taken to on Sunday mornings
WAIT> WHAT!?!?!?!?!
A BF!?!?!
Frankie say Relax. I will get to it in a minute.
IN A MINUTE.
I can walk to bars! Bars I actually go to and want to patron!
Restaurants!
A food co-op!
A video co-op!
School
ALL WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE.
AND! As an added bonus, my great-grandmother used to live on this very street! LIKE TWO BLOCKS AWAY!
If you knew about my family's obsession with former Milwaukee residences, you would understand why that is in all caps.
It's real.
I'm.
I'm real.
BF:
Like I totally have a bf.
And I actually like him!
A lot.
He is cute, smart, funny and good at things and makes up songs about everyday objects much like I do.
He likes ska, but not everyone is perfect.
#LULZING
#JK
(notreally)
#wink
OH!
And he seems to dig my friends and I dig his!
D'awwww.
Too much cuteness right now.
Let's dial it back a notch, kids.
WORK
I interviewed for a new position today! WHAT!?!?
AND.
I actually REALLY want the job. I think it would be awesome/exciting/busy and expand my professional base.
I know.
Where is the snarky tall girl with total apathy about her job.
Look guys.
You can only write "fun and flirty" "sassy and stylish" "cozy and comfy" so many times before all the Cat Harvest sweatshirts start to look alike.
SCHOOL
Well the news can't all be amazing and full of CAPS and #HASHTAGS
School is challenging. Did you know that I had a breakdown in my professor's office? That was awesome. Like a full on, almost sobbing breakdown.
I like to keep it classy.
Egads.
But. I've learned I"m fairly interested in horror and The Walking Dead is a really good show.
I still love Cheetos, wine, carbs.
New to this list: pad thai and dark and stormys and manhattans. Seriously.
I could eat it almost everyday.
ALMOST.
But honestly.
How classy is that list?
It's okay mate, you don't have to say it.
My dogs are still ridiculous.
Topper=lovable grumpy old man (except he's not really old)
Kessie= spry, sassy older woman.
I am contemplating starting a blog about them and their antics.
Mostly the blog would be making up songs about them.
Because that talent needs to be shared.
Be on the lookout of a Topper-fied version of Sympathy for the Devil.
Oh, it's in me.
It's with sadness I announce that I did not do ANYTHING for Hanukkah this year.
Whereas last year Hanukkah (and the Wineauxrah!) were the highlights of my holiday season, this year Christmas/New Years really has to bring it.
Well.
New Years will for sure.
FANCY FROCKS AND FABULOUS FIZZY DRINKS!
If I had a functioning laptop/computer, I would link to Emerson, Lake & Palmer's "I Believe In Father Christmas."
Why?
Cos it's snowing and I just heard almost all of King Crimson's debut album, and I might just become someone who's really into prog. Just saying. (If you can't make that connection on your own, Greg Lake was one of the founding members of King Crimson, but left to join the eponymous Emerson, Lake, and Palmer--Law firm or rock band?)
Thursday night on WMSE is quite possibly the best radio in all of the land.
So this is a totally selfish ME ME ME blog.
But what blogs aren't?
Saturday, June 2, 2012
On Being a Mature Lady
A slew of events have happened recently that have proven to no one but me that I am not only one of the classiest broads I know, but also one of the most mature.
Saw GSC recently and while there was some odd eye contact exchanged, I did NOT act like a neurotic mess! I acted like my charming, and maybe a little tipsy self.
AND! I wasn't all womp womp at the end of the night. LeSigh.
I have had the opportunity to "hang out" with various suitors and I have turned them down! While having lines is extremely beneficial at times (32 is just as much of a time as 31 is), one rarely has control of the situation.
H&M guy is very cute and funny, but it's always this prolonged texting for a week to see if I wanna "hang." Plus the hangs are always good! But I had my dogs to tend to and maybe MAYBE this new boy I'm kinda/sorta seeing had something to do with it. But I'm gonna chalk it up to maturity.
Cold Pizza was my other offer. I think his name says it all. So last night after being all cool, calm and collected and saying hi an what not, he asks if I want to dance. Being a mature lady, I know where this is going.
NO I WILL NOT MAKEOUT WITH YOU.
Or dance with you.
He danced up on me anyway (gross!) and during last call I literally had to tell him that I wasn't going to go home with him. Or that I couldn't.
"Why?" he says.
WHO SAYS THESE THINGS?!?
Do you really want me to tell you why? Because you aren't very good at any aspect of hangs and AND YOU NEVER LEAVE.
Rather than being a meanie, I told him I just couldn't and RadPanda whisked me away.
Outside I chastised a guy who claimed he was 5'9" (it's on his license! It must be true!) when he was really 5'7" or 5'8".
Everything counts in large amounts.
As RadPanda and I rounded the corner to head to the corner we found this poor boy sitting by himself in the grass, clearly wasted/lost. Being mature ladies we literally talk to him like he's a little boy lost at the fair.
We offer rides.
We offer texts as his phone is about to die.
We find out he's in the circus (seriously) and that his name is Tyler.
A random guy tells him to take us up on our offer to drive him home.
He tells us he lives in Waukesha.
At that moment I made an executive decision to just let the poor bloke stay at my house. Where i knew he was too drunk/injured to rape me in my sleep.
Yes. I think about these things.
I also apologized to him for having a messy bathroom AS HE WAS VOMITING IN MY TOILET.
See?
Mature and classy.
Saw GSC recently and while there was some odd eye contact exchanged, I did NOT act like a neurotic mess! I acted like my charming, and maybe a little tipsy self.
AND! I wasn't all womp womp at the end of the night. LeSigh.
I have had the opportunity to "hang out" with various suitors and I have turned them down! While having lines is extremely beneficial at times (32 is just as much of a time as 31 is), one rarely has control of the situation.
H&M guy is very cute and funny, but it's always this prolonged texting for a week to see if I wanna "hang." Plus the hangs are always good! But I had my dogs to tend to and maybe MAYBE this new boy I'm kinda/sorta seeing had something to do with it. But I'm gonna chalk it up to maturity.
Cold Pizza was my other offer. I think his name says it all. So last night after being all cool, calm and collected and saying hi an what not, he asks if I want to dance. Being a mature lady, I know where this is going.
NO I WILL NOT MAKEOUT WITH YOU.
Or dance with you.
He danced up on me anyway (gross!) and during last call I literally had to tell him that I wasn't going to go home with him. Or that I couldn't.
"Why?" he says.
WHO SAYS THESE THINGS?!?
Do you really want me to tell you why? Because you aren't very good at any aspect of hangs and AND YOU NEVER LEAVE.
Rather than being a meanie, I told him I just couldn't and RadPanda whisked me away.
Outside I chastised a guy who claimed he was 5'9" (it's on his license! It must be true!) when he was really 5'7" or 5'8".
Everything counts in large amounts.
As RadPanda and I rounded the corner to head to the corner we found this poor boy sitting by himself in the grass, clearly wasted/lost. Being mature ladies we literally talk to him like he's a little boy lost at the fair.
We offer rides.
We offer texts as his phone is about to die.
We find out he's in the circus (seriously) and that his name is Tyler.
A random guy tells him to take us up on our offer to drive him home.
He tells us he lives in Waukesha.
At that moment I made an executive decision to just let the poor bloke stay at my house. Where i knew he was too drunk/injured to rape me in my sleep.
Yes. I think about these things.
I also apologized to him for having a messy bathroom AS HE WAS VOMITING IN MY TOILET.
See?
Mature and classy.
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