Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Day 21

What a drag it is getting old.
[enter sitar music here ala "Mother's Little Helper" by the Rolling Stones].

As some of you know, three at least, I have taken to having dance parties every morning.
By myself.
In my office.
And apparently yesterday I danced too hard.
"But Jj, can there BE such a thing as dancing TOO hard??" you may be asking.

Well compadres.
Apparently when you're pushing 29, and you're dancing like a 7 year old boy.
Then yes.
Yes there is.
For I am full of aches and pains and malaise today.

Don't get me wrong.
I still danced this morning.
Because I don't care who you are.
When "Hungry Like the Wolf" come on.
You dance.
But I had to take it easy on the Mick Jagger kicks.
And the Billy Idol fist pumps.

In actual recession news:
Upon waking up this morning I had an email from the Hunger Task Force.
I was actually kind of excited that I would have another rejection letter to post.
No rejection!
Not an offer either, let's be real.
But at least there is a glimmer of hope for the next 2-4 weeks while they set up interviews and such.
So that is good news.
Well maybe not good news.
But better than the no news that has been occurring during my recession.

I would also like to give big ups to the Apple store at Mayfair.
Super helpful staff (probably because they get to wear jeans to work) and not pressure-y at all.
Which is nice.
Much like we did while we were living the super-broke lifestyle whilst in California, E and I decided to go "window shopping" yesterday for laptops.
So we stopped at the ole Apple store first and then headed over to Best Buy.
Which was not as pleasant.
First of all.
There was a leak in the roof.
I'm not even joking.
And it was kind of leaking onto the merchandise.
Also I had like 7 different people ask me if I needed help.
Finally I asked, "Do you have the new 'green' Dell computers?"
I meant "green" as in eco-friendly...the ones Dell has been advertising lately. Maybe it's HP, I don't know. But she said "No we don't have any, maybe tonight we'll get some in."
"Can you give me the opening price point for those?"
"Around $600, that's what the colored laptops usually are priced at."
Rather than trying to explain myself, I decided to just go look at the Apples and reminisce about the glorious time spent in intelligent conversation at the Apple store.

I realize, I could have made myself more clear, and not everyone is on the super liberal hippie train I am on.
Side note: I've really been on a train metaphor lately.
But the whole time at Best Buy made me itchy and annoyed and tweaky.

Needless to say, I was expecting the exact service I got from both stores.
Which makes me want to spend about $300 more on a laptop from Apple because I like their employees and advertising better.

But let's be real.
I'm not in any type of situation to be spending any money at this point.
So it's all just dreams for the future, kids.
Dreams for the future.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Day 20

Day 20.
A full business month if you will.
And still no job.
And it's not for lack of trying.

Okay so maybe TODAY it's for lack of trying, but in previous weeks it hadn't been.
And let's not forget I've been working creatively.
And I've taken up dancing.
In the morning.
It's flipping fantastic.
Not literally flipping, because I am not that coordinated.
But super fun.
Just let Itunes take over and my office becomes the hottest dance party in town.
And it's amazing what you can find you can dance to.
Hi Hi Hi by Wings.
One wouldn't traditionally think that Wings would provide good dance tunes.
But there I was.
1130 this morning pumping my fists in the air and doing high kicks.
It's THAT kind of dancing.
Dancing that a 7 year old boy might do.
It's perfect.
Except, I think I pulled some type of side/back muscle.
Because I'm an olds.
And I gots to dance.

In other news.
My hair looks really good today.
Just thought I would share.

Got an MLB catalog so I perused the super cute yet overpriced tee shirts.
Which then inspired me to try on all my new Brewer clothes thanks to the fire sale and Christmas time.
Check and done.
Everything fits.
I'm hoping my dance parties will help in that situation a little bit.

E. gets home with Taco Bell.
I know.
I know.
TB is NOT good food.
But it's really good junk food.
And we were both craving it the day before.
So it was a delicious treat.

I may purchase a rolling pin later in the day.
It's THAT kind of crazy day.

Job update:
Applied for TWO jobs today.
Was very excited to see an opening at Hunger Task Force for a Communication Coordinator!
It could combine my mad writing skillz with my drive to be a productive member of Milwaukee.
Keeping the digits crossed.

Also applied for a job at Marquette, but thus far my job search there has proved extremely unfruitful.
Barren one could say.

Day 19

What a mother-loving L-A-Z-Y day.
Eff balls and pastrami on rye.

I felt as if I had pulled an all-nighter.
I couldn't believe that E. actually had to wake up at like five.
For I was dragging.

I think I maybe woke up shortly before he came home.
At 1130 or so.
He might have awoke me.
It's a blur.

The day was spent mostly freezing on the couch, cuddling with the dog, and watching...
Wait for it...

The short-lived 90's version.
Not the old old school one.
It was so good and bad all at the same time.
I was addicted to this show as a child.
In fifth grade.
My group even made a "life size" (well 5th-grader life-size) Barnabus Collins, complete with frilly cuffs and magic ring.
The Chiller network was doing a marathon.
Until now, I didn't even know there was a Chiller network.
But as it happened.
There it was in all of it's cheeseball glory.
So I fired up the pizza rolls, and settled in.
So I finally got to see the finale.
Which was not as full of closure as I would have liked.
But it was ridick.
And I loved it.
I loved that my favorite show in 5th grade (or was in 6th?) was about vampires.
As was my favorite movie.
And now.
Almost 20 years later I'm addicted to vampire books and shows again.
I'm sure that says something about me, but I haven't found a link yet.
But I'm searching for one.
Maybe I should become an unofficial vampire scholar.
Or an official one.

This weekend has been an utter waste.
Or waist as everyone else seems to spell it.
At least the people who write facebook quizzes.
I truly have a feeling future intelligence will be based on your ability to spell correctly.
Without the use of spell-check.
Homonyms will be the end of us.
Mark my words.

Day 18

I think at the end of all this I will have one of the following:
1. A wacky sitcom
2. A memoir-esque book
3. A really long blog
4. A low paying job which will enable me to still blog.
5. All of the above.
6. None of the above.

Today was ridiculously busy.
Drive-y and busy.

While I think I will wake up early at the thought of omelettes and coffee the night before, it never works out that way.
Instead I sometimes wake up to coffee, but am usually too nauseous to want to eat anything.
Such it was this fine morning.
E. had made coffee, I overslept leaving us but an hour to run to Value Village to look for a new stereo receiver.
Cause of death for previous receiver?
Party hearty/hardy.
While VV doesn't have a receiver they do have lots of breadmakers which I'm tempted to buy so I can start a ridiculous business of bread and jam.
So no receivers but we do leave with arms full.
For $12 we bought:
*A Union Roundy's jacket with the name "Larry" embroidered on it (E. apparently has a penchant for work coats, see "Dean" embroidered on numerous Oceanspray shirts/jackets/coats).
*An old school tennis racquet with the name and face of Evonne Goolagong
*A jar that seals and clamps, most likely for spaghetti, but could be used for other things
* tennis shorts for E.
I was quite close to buying an old Brewers' shirt with the #20 for Podsednik on it, but $2 seemed a little high.
I love that I'm at the point where I think VV prices are too high.
Loves it.

We then came home, dropped everything off, and I dropped E. off at tennis in New Berlin, then out to Oak Creek to pick up a dog, which then promptly threw up in my car, then drove to Bay View for a dog-kid intro, then back to Oak Creek to drop the dog off, then home to start soup for a potluck which I thought was an hour and a half earlier than it actually was, then pick up E. from New Berlin.

It was ridiculously tiring.

I was really looking forward to what was supposed to be a barbeque, but the 5 inches of snow we got put a small damper on things. While the meaties still grilled, the potluck was really well represented and fun, for a small-ish gathering.
6 neighbors in milwaukee proper, eating drinking, and playing games.
Great fun indeed, not to mention, I had the best (okay only) risotto I've ever had.
I was a little sad that I missed out on M's bachelorette party, but felt I wasn't truly invited anyway, and it was better money wasn't spent in all actuality.

There IS a recession going on people.

Not to mention, I'm old and 6 hours of drinking red wine and a weirdo beer had me yawning like a banshee.
Being an olds sucks.

Day 17

Glory of glories.
The severance came today.
Make that.
My measly severance.

I'm trying to figure out what the fiscally/job-getting/regular responsible thing to do with this chunk of change. Pay off a credit card? Get a macbook (for writing purposes, not for fun)? Save it? Put in a ponzi scheme?

On the way to deposit said check, I stop off at the ole BT Supercenter to pick up pieces that will hopefully aid in my portfolio building, which my former boss so super-nicely gathered for me.

First of all, I treat E. and I to Topperstix.
Mostly because I've heard people talk about them incessantly and it is right buy an ATM, used to deposit said check.
(As an added bonus, I also got a refund check from a credit card from overpayment!)
The Topperstix were pretty good, I have to say although I wasn't super impressed with the sauce choices.
I think it would be really good drunk food.

We then head home after our "treat" because the dogs we are dogsitting for are getting picked up that day. The dogs leave without much fanfare but ANOTHER bonus is in the thank you care, fifty bucks! YES! All to play with dogs. Pretty effing sweet.

So it was a good Friday. We were dreadfully bored and had nothing to do Friday night so it was spent watching movies and eating junk food, which is a rarity in the house, but oh, baked cheetos and diet pepsi...how delicious are you!?!?

We watch "Good Luck Chuck" which is not good.
Not like I was expecting it to be, but sometimes Dane Cook can cause a laugh.
But seriously.
Bad news this one.
Don't watch.

E. then decides to play Flight Simulator, oh if only I was making this up...so I watch "300."
It was actually really good.
And I really liked it.
It wasn't nearly as homoerotic as I thought it would be, which was slightly disappointing, but the story was rather intriguing and I enjoyed the way it was executed.
Although, I do wish there would have been more blood.
Because the blood would splatter, but then disappear.
Which kind of annoyed me.
But if you are looking for a good action movie, with an interesting story and that doesn't hate on the ladies, I recommend it!

After that I took in "A Perfect Murder."
Apparently this movie is based on Hitchcock's "Dial M for Murder."
Which I have to think would be better.
Predictable, bleah.
I think I would prefer "Fatal Attraction" for a film with Michael Douglas about marital dischord.

In other news:
No news on the job front.
I will be taking the weekend off from the job search to focus on house-y things.
Fixing stereos, baking bread, etc.

I probably could have done more job searching today, but I thought the receiving of my severance and portfolio pieces was a step in the right direction.

PLUS I haven't even gotten any more rejection letters.
Which makes me think no one is even looking at my awesome-dawsome resume.
There are a lot of unemployed tall girls out there.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Day 16

Here is a fun tip for slackers:
If the debacle of when you should get dressed in the morning is too much for you to deal with, sleep in your clothes!

And actually it was a good thing I did.
For last night I did something I rarely do.
I was thinking about this piece I'm working on and I was thinking about the ending.
Cos I am not good at endings.
Mine are always too abrupt, or missing altogether.
This could explain my hatred for 90% of the movie endings out there.
But I stand by my theory that there is nothing like an ambivalent (as opposed to a HAPPY ending).
To wit:
Rosemary's Baby
American Psycho
Of course those are perfectly executed films in other aspects as well.

Anyway. So I woke up to jot these ideas down because I've said it once and I will say it again, I truly believe something happens to your brain as you are relaxing into sleep.
For the longest time I've wanted to get one of those little recorders to record my thoughts because I'd like to think some of them are profound or would at least help with my writing.
So last night I got out of bed, and went to work.
What was supposed to be a quick paragraph of the ending turned into a 3 page outline of the epilogue or afterward or maybe I will be able to work it in somehow...I haven't decided, and will need to talk to some friends to decide what the best option is.

And that was just for the ending.
Since I was up I decided to maybe outline some other key plot points.
As yesterday when I was writing it was kind of aimless.
Which usually, or should I say used to work for me.
But in my old age I've realized I work a wee bit better with at least a rough idea of what I'm doing. It allows me to be a little bit more precise.
To the point I'm nice.
And for those of you keeping score at home.
That was a lyric from the early 90's C+C Music Factory jam, Gonna Make You Sweat.
You love it.

So as repayment for being such a dilligent artist, God in all his infinite glory and wisdom decided to wake me up to the sound of one of the dogs peeing next to the bed.
So at 830, IN THE MORNING, I'm up throwing clothes into the wash, letting the dogs out and making coffee.
Jj no likey.

In other news.
I watched the movie 28 Days last night.
It was not very good.
I realize this movie is like 10 years old, but after watching season one of In Treatment in a span of two days, I needed something a little light, and it was the first movie in the Cinemax On Demand section. So I decided to go for it.

The problem of the film was it was going in to many different directions.
It was kind of like a slapstick, but about drunks/addicts.
Except it wasn't that funny, really at all.
And I'm completely comfortable laughing at inappropriate things.
But then it would get all serious, and not in necessarily a good way.
It did remind me that Viggo Mortenson is quite attractive however.
And that was a nice touch.
But even his role in the movie was really not necessary.
I really should know better from Sandra Bullock films.
Which is too bad, because I think she's kind of pretty, and maybe kind of funny.
But I can't really think of anything she's been in that I've liked.

I could, however, see how the script of this film could read like it would be an okay movie.
I'm just saying.

Today I really need to be domestic.
The house is turning into a disastrica.
And we're out of bread.

Dance party today from 10-11.
My office.
By myself.
Oh yes.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Day 15

I constantly find myself in the precarious position of whether or not I should get dressed.
I've read that whilst unemployed you should get dressed and act as if you're going to work, but use that time and energy to look for employ instead.
Yeah, mother effing right.
It's no secret that I am not a morning person.
I have no issue of working 10-12 hours a day as long as I can start at like 10-11-12.
Yesterday I did the majority of my writing from 4-8, with a coffee break with my P.
Because I've been homebound now for the whole week.
I'm like a non-crazy, Jack Nicholson in "The Shining."
Not crazy yet.

I usually do get dressed but usually it's before I have to go somewhere.
I haven't become the busha that goes out in her housecoat and house shoes.
Not yet.

I'm currently waiting for both of these things to happen.
I'll let you know when I start seeing dead twinsies all over the place.

If it were nice out I wouldn't hate it so much cos I could ride my bike without losing all the circulation in my digits. As it is still a little cold out, and I'm trying TRYING to slowly pack up the winter gear (not the scarves, obs...I need some kind of calling card), I'm not about to unpack it all so I can ride my bike to get out of the house.

I'm gonna be cheeseball right now and say how I think writing a couple pages in my updated voice did wonders for my mood.
It also created more work, as I will have to back and edit/re-write the stuff I started years ago.
But I feel as if I have an end in sight.
But also some other ideas too.
I think I even have a title.
Oh this is becoming like a Hall and Oates record.
Bigger Than the Both of Us.
And just so you know.
It takes a certain kind of genius to drop in obscure Hall and Oates references.

Speaking of which.
Something is amok with my receiver and my tunage for the downstairs is currently nil.
I should've known something would happen while we were dressed in togas.
This really puts a damper on my housekeeping/cookery because we all know how much I love to cook while listening to Jesus Christ Superstar.
Not even a lie.
Who doesn't love to cook with the Messiah?
So I may look into that today.
And by look into.
I mean I will unplug things and plug them back in.
Because that is how scientific I am.

In job search news:
My former boss called me and I should be able to update my portfolio now!
Because that is what has been holding me back this whole time.
That is why I have been declining the interviews that I won't stop getting.
But it will be nice to see my work and get it together.
Maybe I will do a video resume like on "How I Met Your Mother"
It can't hurt at this point.

In other news.
I can't believe how mother loving CLOSE baseball season is!
And to think that I was going to have to find an AM radio to listen to the first game.
Now, I will get to watch in GLORIOUS HD in the comfort of my own home.
OR maybe I will scrounge some change and head to some place that has cheap tappers.
And by cheap, I mean a quarter.
I could test my awesome barfly skills out and see if people would just buy this awesome, unemployed baseball fan a drink.
Oh so many options.
And a whole baseball season to try them out in.
Nothing but time.

And because I'm currently in a facebook argument regarding the granting of a beer license to a corner store in Bay View.

I'm sure you're all familiar with the corner, where Lulu, Cafe Centraal, that bank all reside.
Well right next to Lulu is a corner store.
The owner has tried to get a license to sell beer because he claims it's the only way his business will survive.
The elitist restaurants don't want this cos they feel it will bring a dirty/annoying element to their trendy nightspot.
This is obviously a class issue as every corner store where I live, i.e. "Milwaukee Proper," sells beer, cell phones, hubcaps, etc.
Anyway, I just find it frustrating that this is blatant classist behavior.
Read the article here.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Day 14

After spending the entire day yesterday, trying to stay warm, I successfully got myself to sleep thanks to two greyhounds on the bed, a scarf, a hat, a hood, and sleeping completely under the covers, hands in pockets.

This is a true story.
I believe this happened because it was rainy yesterday.
And the first day is always as if there is a cold front in our house.
And in our house only.

This morning, I was pleasantly surprised by the following:
1. I was sufficiently heated and my head was uncovered and there was only one dog on the bed, hogging both pillows.
2. Coffee was made! Which is such a treat.
3. I was up remarkably early...930!

E was supposed to have today off but instead has to go film.
So I will be here along again.
I have some tricks up my sleeve.

I know this will shock most of you.
But today.
I'm going to...
I know, I know.

But to quote Karen Carpenter:
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
And while it isn't Monday.
I've had a day to stew in the melancholia.
And this is exactly where I like to be when writing.
Also I've been thinking of writing YA lit, since Stephanie Meyer did a huge disservice to the youth culture by providing them with admittedly compelling, but ultimately awful reading material and role models.
And my story might actually work better as a screenplay anyway, as so much of my work does.
Which is odd, but also pretty perfect, cos so many have problems with writing screenplays, and for me it's easy as pie.
Blueberry pie, not mincemeat.
I just really need to do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.

In other news.
I had an interesting dream last night.
Let me preface by saying, that I have been toying with the idea of going to grad school for a long time.
It really is a lot of work and expensive when you add in the application fee, the getting of the transcripts, the tests you have to take.
And none of that guarantees you get in.
Especially during this recession.
This is what people do during the recession.
They go to grad school.
Then there is the issue of getting the requisite recommendation letters.
Which for me is difficult for a number of reasons.
While I did do well in my academic career towards the end, there is no guarantee that anyone remembers me.
I think grad school is best attended directly after your undergrad is complete.
But you know people like me.
We like to putz around with owning houses, dogs, and paying off bills that were accrued during the undergrad phase.

So while cleaning the office the other day I found a midterm and final from my Queer Cinema class, which would be one of the teachers I would need to get a recommendation letter from. It's also the same teacher I accosted at Mad Planet. So maybe I have a better chance of recollection in his brain. I put it with the rest of my school things (old packets/books that still hold interest for me) and call it a day.

Last night whilst sleeping this all manifests itself.
First I am on a farm, ala "Big Love," lots of old church people are there, and we are all related, and I think my parents are on friendlier terms than they are currently. Like maybe they were still together. So we're there, and we are all somehow related...except I don't know how exactly we're related to this brother and sister, and no one will let me ask how we're related...as if it's some terrible family secret. And my dad points out that they have different talents than the rest of us which (in my mind in the dream) indicated that maybe they weren't related via my grandfather at all, but from my mom's side, but we've taken them in for whatever reason.

It then becomes clear that we are there for B's baby shower.
[Full disclosure: Watched a re-run of Big Love last night and received a phone call that B was going to have said baby.] And there are lots of people there, including B's dad, who, in the dream, looks like an older Dermont Mulroney [I recently watched Georgia Rule, which I would not recommend to anyone, but did have Dermont Mulroney in it]. And he's reading off all of the way's he's helped B, and how he will continue to help her after the baby comes. Then it devolves into a barbeque and I'm sitting at the super classy/judgemental table. With people I don't know and they are all talking about things that don't interest me at all. There is a fun group with drinking and smoking and the group I'm in is talking smack about the fun group...which I don't like at all, cos I'm clearly out of place.

Then I am Wanda from the show Big Love. And although I didn't do it during the dream, my husband, Joey, is strung up in the barn on a piece of plywood...dead. I guess I killed him, but like I said this was just known in the dream, not actually acted out. So for some reason I felt compelled to clean him off, as he was covered in blood. I proceed to clean off his pants which come remarkably clean, but when I try to clean his shirt, the rigored body moves in such a way that the piece of plywood falls over and since it's alot of dead weight, I can't position back to how it was. I decide to just walk back home.

Somehow during this walk I transition from Wanda back to myself and I am at this summer camp/summer school. And although it's clear it's my first day, I know where to go. And I end up in this class that is mostly dudes and it's some type of Rock and Roll class. And the teacher makes it clear that I will have to take good notes to succeed and motions to the pile of blue books and pencils in the middle of the table. He hands me two books, which are already filled out with my information and upon further looking I realize, they are from previous classes. So I ask for a new one and he doesn't believe that I need a new one and I explain that these are for two previous classes and once I say "History of Rock" and "Rock and Roll Cinema" [two classes I actually took] I get this sudden respect in the class, and the boy sitting next to me is constantly brushing up against my leg. We are quite cramped in this room, but it becomes blatantly clear as our conversation wears one that he likes me. Then a discussion of the film program at UWM gets underway and the majority of the students in this class are film students and are all worried because the recession is forcing the film department to cut back and actually make people have to pass something and actually audition. Which I say is what students used to have to do, but now there is this open enrollment and you have people making films with no knowlege of film theory or who have never taken a screenwriting class. Which somehow gets a lot of guffaws in my class, cos they all know I'm right.

It ended there.
But I couldn't help but think that kind of summed up my academic existence.
At first I'm not taken seriously cos I'm the older, nerdy girl (especially if I'm wearing glasses) who is quiet.
But then it becomes clear that I actually DO know what I'm talking about, when I choose to speak.
Which has ALWAYS been my problem...ever since I was little my teachers said I should speak up more. Which is funny because I'm not known as the quiet one in my group of friends.
But in an academic setting, I guess I'm deathly afraid of being known as the person that ALWAYS has a comment and is ALWAYS endlessly pontificating no matter how pointless or aimless.

So today.
I write.

Day 13

So I've decided there really IS a recession going on.
Jobs are all shitty and lame.
I haven't started applying to EVERYTHING yet, but I think it may start getting to that point.

On the plus side I did find two jobs that I will apply to that I think I might actually like.
One is with MATC, and one for some charter school that focuses on nutrition for women and children. We will see.
The MATC job pays quite well so I'm hoping for that, and I think I'm most qualified for it.
Insert pessimistic comment here.

I STILL haven't gotten my severance check and that is starting to worry me, as our next pay cycle was supposed to be this friday.
Whatevs, I guess.

I think, think being the operative word here, I will feel better about this whole situation once that comes.

In other news apparently when people get fired/laid off on television shows, they just start businesses.
So this is what I've been doing wrong this whole time.

In all honesty today was a total Monday. I didn't want to do anything that would lead to work or make it feel like I was working.
I did.
But I was taking no joy in it whatsoever.

The good news is E and I FINALLY stayed within our budget for groceries!
Buying beer and wine!
And I even bought stuff for some actual meals.
Not just burritos and pasta.
I made a really good dum-dum alfredo sauce the other day.
Score one for the poor peeps!
So that was good.
We then proceeded to make cheese & onion enchiladas which were super effing good.
To quote E, "We told that dinner what for."
He's filming tomorrow so I think the leftovers will be ALL MINE!
Insert evil laughter here.

Because nothing was on the television, I played solitaire and sang to myself for the rest of the evening.
Don't pity me.
I had a beer, and we all know how much I love to sing.
It actually lifted my spirits.
Feel pity.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Day 12 (rejection letter free inside!)

Not even noon yet.
Things I've accomplished thus far:
Applied for a job
Did some laundry
Made some coffee

Okay so I guess it's not that much.
But jobs applied to count is up to eight.
Unfortunately, I don't think eight is enough.

E got a free lunch today (and not even because of the recession!) so I got to eat some of his leftover french fries.
It's the little things.
But they were some delicious french fries let me tell you.

More seeds came today!
Lettuce and, accidentally, turnips.
I thought I was ordering this "Paul Robeson tomato."
But the number I had written down is the same number as the "Blanc de Crosby" turnip.
Oh wells.
At least it has a cool-ish name.
I guess I can look for recipes with turnips...assuming they even grow.
This whole gardening thing is quite the experiment.

In other news.
I found out two of my "aunts" blog!
Which makes it clear that the writer-ly side of us is from their dad, my gramps.

And without further ado...
I would like to cut and paste my FIRST rejection letter of MY recession!
Unfortunately it's an email so I will be cutting and pasting:

Dear [Victim of the Recession],

Thank you for applying to Uline. Your qualifications have been reviewed against our openings, and unfortunately, we have identified other candidates who more closely meet our requirements at the present time.

Thank you for your time and interest in Uline. We wish you success in obtaining the position you desire.


Uline Human Resources

Position(s) Applied For:

Senior Copywriter - CORP

One down, 7 more to go.
Not to worry I will keep you posted.

In other news I've decided to make tomato soup as a meal next week, and some Iranian dish that is rice, butter and saffron. I'll let you know how it all works out in the end.

And by all I mean recipes, laundry, garden, job hunt, etc.

And if you are like me and like to booze, may I recommend BluCreek Blueberry Ale.
It was leftover from a party (because that is what jobless people do to get liquor...throw parties and hope that people leave booze, 95% of the time they do! A little trick of the jobless trade) .
And as I'm sipping, reading the label, I find it's from Black River Falls.
Not so far from the old stomping grounds.
To make this the perfect day?
Outside gardening.
In a tank top.
Dogs lazing.
Beer in hand (for summer outdoor drinking, may I recommend Dos Equis).
Uecker on the radio.
Get up.
Get outta here.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Day 11

Before 11 am I applied for a job, a Development Associate.
That makes my current total 8, I believe.
Minus the one that was spam.
So seven.

Today E is out filming and then playing tennis.
I have absolutely no idea what I will do today.
I kind of televisioned myself out last night.
I could read.
And do some laundry.
That sounds rather lovely.

I wish I were into college basketball, because that would be consuming me at this point.
But alas.
It's not.


It was a laundry day.
A glorious day of doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, have the dogs lay all over the clean laundry, and then taking the dogs for a walk.

Amazingly enough I think I'm breaking my addiction to television.
Even when I watch shows that are smart, I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't have gotten a more fulfilling, if less entertaining, rundown of said topic.

In between loads of laundry I sorted through our muck-fest of bills and (for once) it wasn't as bad as I thought.
This usually means some catastrophe will happen.
Except I already lost my job.
So maybe the porch will fall off our house.
You've seen the porch.
This could totally happen.
But until then we will keep movin' on.
Just like an old 70's song.

Later in the evening since girls' night was cancelled for the obvious reason of me being jobless, and P's liver being broken, E and I had nothing to do.
So we called on neighbor-friends for an impromptu game night of Blokus and Settlers of Catan.
Although I'm really bad at Blokus, I like it.
Which is weird, cos I'm so highly competitive.
Maybe I'm maturing.
I highly doubt it.
I think it's because I have connotations of that night that I first played Blokus that most likely will never be repeated.
Unless at Winterfest.
Settlers of Catan was the usual fun times, except E. won.

In other news.
How do people listen to emo incessantly?
Death Cab just came on the ole itunes and I thought to myself,
"Although I'm jobless, I'm not nearly as close to suicide that would requisite me listening to such sad bastard music."
Is it because the sun is shining?
Is it because I'm not 14?
Is it because somewhere in that mix I know "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys is waiting?
D. All of the above.

And just to validate my own baseball knowledge.
There was recently an article in the MJS about how Macha is thinking of having Kendall bat lead-off.
The numbers don't lie.
Kendall gets on base.
I could quote the article, but you are all tech savvy and can look it up.
Sure he isn't a speedster, but BUT, if you're relying on your power hitters, what do you need base stealers for?
If you're relying on Braun/Fielder to hit it out of the park what does it matter if Kendall is still on first?
Something I was saying last year when Weeks was incessantly striking out.
I'm interested to see how this plays out during the season.
Maybe (dear GOD let's hope so) Weeks will break out this season.
It ain't like he's not due.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Day 10

My house is filled with dogs!
I love it!
And the boy dog I'm sitting for is in love with my dog.
And it's totally cute and adorable.

I have nothing on the docket today, except some basic house upkeep.
And the obvious looking for jobs.

But jeez, I'm up early enough.
I forget that most dogs aren't sleep champions like mine.

After a much needed shower I decided to have the breakfast of champions (chips & salsa, it's not even 10 yet) and apply for two jobs!

Daily total for jobs applied:
One was a scam off of craig's list, stupid jerks.
But I'm pretty sure the rest are real.
I've applied for the following:
*Part-time intern
*Development Coordinator at Marquette
*Office Associate at Marquette
*Milwaukee Legal Assistant
*Sr. Copywriter
*Freelance type creative thing

I think I will reward this work with a movie, or some television.

I'm doing a really good job.

I wish it were warmer out so I could take all of these dogs for a walk.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Day 9

Today I slept in.
I know, I know.
But in my defense, our house is incredibly cold, because E. turned off the heat (which I didn't learn until he got home from work today as I'm in a sweater, scarf and slippers).
Plus, I had me some weirdo dreams. With creepy voyeurs.

In other news.
I applied for a blogger job today.
I think it's pretty much lo-no pay.
It would be for the Brewers.
A virtual dream come true for a Crew fan like myself!
I will let you all know how it goes.
Because what else do I have to let you know about?
Maybe I could post all of my rejection letters here!
Check and done.

Today we begin dog-sitting for a week.
I am very excited as we have been foster-less for a while.
We were supposed to pick up fostering again after the Irish Holiday season, but with me being jobless, we didn't want to take on too much.

In other news:
We got our seeds today! So fun.
I will be sorting them later and delivering them to my garden-buddy, M.
I think one of the reasons I'm not SUPER worried about MY recession is because I will be growing my own food (well, hopefully) AND I've purchased an organic crop share, so bascially I will be getting organic vegetables for the whole summer! Which means groceries will consist of pasta, soy milk and cheese and the staples like flour.
It should be noted, that the crop share was purchased BEFORE MY recession began. But I think it's a really good deal.
I think we worked it out to be $10/week for organic veggies which will force us to be a little bit more creative with our cooking so we are not wasteful.
Speaking of which...I think I'm going to try to make flour tortillas. Because we always buy them, but they are kind of expensive. And I would have to assume that homemade ones taste better.
I could be wrong, but ain't no use in not trying.

Day 8

E and I are both off considering it's the day after St. Patty's Day.
I spend the day being a real-live vicitm of the recession:
Revising my resume and subsequent cover letters.
Bookmarking job sites.
Bookmarking jobs.
Reading over my unemployment info.
Which I have to say.
I love how archaic that all is.
One. They could have saved postage and numerous trees by emailing that information to me.
Two. I have to read basically the whole packet to find the job website that they recommend. Why isn't this info printed on the cover?
Three. Apparently they think that the best way to get a job is to talk to businesses face to face as this is the preferred method of applying for jobs.
I will say that there is a small caveat at the bottom, that if the preferred way of applying to said field is via phone or mail that is acceptable.
But I did like the mental picture of me just walking into ad agencies and asking for an application.
I found that rather humorous.

I still haven't gotten my severance check.
I'm hoping for it by the end of the week, just one more thing to cross off my list.
And you know, pay the bills.

I'm also in this somewhat precarious predicament:
To receive unemployment I have to apply for two jobs per week.
Right now I have, give or take a few, about 10 jobs I could apply to.
While I want to apply for most of them, I'm also worried, job market the way it is, that I won't have more to apply to once I apply for all of those.

I'm not overly concerned as I have not had much luck with job sites in the past.
I do think this could be a great time to start my rejection letter coffee table book.
I've also decided I really need to start sending out my short stories once again.
As I do have one that I think is quite good, especially for non-Twilight reading teenagers.
Because people who read, AND LIKE "Twilight" are probably the lamest people in the world.
There, I've said it.

In other news.
My joblessness helped someone today.
I had to take my grams to the doctor.
The Dr. and the nurse both asked if I was a nurse (my aunt, who is a nurse, usually takes her), and I had to bite my tongue to say that I was unemployed.
Sometimes I think it's funny.
All the times I think it's funny.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Day 7

Top of the morning to ya!
And a Happy St. Patty's Day to you.
And a Happy Completion of Week 1 of MY Recession!
A good week?
Quite possibly.
I got my "expected" UI figures today.
And I am not happy about his.
They are going by third quarter earning.
So not like UI is that much to begin with, but now it is even less.
This will just hasten the job search I suppose.
Because I think I saw less than a handful to apply to yesterday.

Onto better things!
The destruction of my liver!
Every St. Pat's day my mates and I head to a quaint little irish pub and 6am for some Irish coffee and some bloodies with green beer chasers.
Okay so this is what I drink.
Most mates drank guinness.
I ate the world's spiciest pickle at the first bar and we all decided that Lucky Charms were in order.
We went to the next bar in hopes that they would continue their tradition of serving Lucky Charms.
No such luck of the Irish was with us.
Luckily A had brought homemade cookies.
We then discussed pet names, maiden names and had a signature party on the Mad Libs cover.

After bar two we were jonesing for coffee and bagels so we headed up to the East Pointe Super Center to park the cars, get coffee, and eat some carbs.
De-Lish and well needed nourishment.
We then head to bar #3, where we proceed to do mystery shots, hog the jukebox, play darts, drink 3 pitchers of green beer and discuss the following topics:
The Lesbians ditching us
Rhianna and Chris Brown
Sterilizing people until they pass a "you can have a kid" class.
1984, the book.
Drug addiction
The Cult of Celebrity
Role models, not the movie
Forgetting Sarah Marshall, the movie.

We then headed to bar #4 with the mom from "Throw Momma From the Train" as the bartender (seriously, she was pretty scary), and the hottest mustard of all time.
I thought my nose was going to fall off.
The meaties ate corned beef and cabbage and the veggies ate potato chips and rye bread.
More nourishment, but a litres of beer and a screw driver later we needed more coffee.
And an outdoor patio.

We get more coffee and walk the streets of Milwaukee looking for a bar that has their patio set up.

A comes up with one that is all the way down town.
We decide.
It's a nice day.
Blue skies.
What a day to take a walk in the park.
So we cavort thru Milwaukee, see dead animals, speak of orphanry and monster statues.
And gawk at the bronzest Fonzest.
The patio was not set up.
We rest.
For our journey had been long and tiresome.
In actuality it was probably a 20 minute walk.
As we're heading back to the car I see it.
Across the river.
A beacon of hope.
A patio!
With people drinking!
And not busy!
And drink specials!
So we sit on the patio, drink some more (for those of you keeping score I stuck with soda and water at this bar, and was sufficiently sober by the end of the day).
Ridiculousness and Mad Libs ensues.
As do giggle parties galore.
The bar starts getting crowded so we decide to call it a day.
12 hours after starting so very early that morning.
We were done.
Well done, mates.
Well done.

Day 6

While the day I actually got laid off was cold and rainy and utterly dreary.
The days following have been progressively better.

It was too nice to finish cleaning, so I made coffee, threw in some laundry and pontificated on being a victim of the recession.

I also decided to bite the bullet and look for some work.
As much as I like having a clean house and the ability to do basically whatever I want, whenever I want, the bills are not going to pay themselves.

Severance hasn't come yet, and E is still waiting on some film skrilla.
Which will help, but not save us.
I will say this.
Those people who say they could never not work.
I think they are liars.
Not working is awesome.
Maybe it's because I live in the Money Pit of Milwaukee, and my house is in a constant state of repair/disarray. Or maybe it's because I'm just good at activities OTHER than watching telly, but I seriously have been loving having this time off.
Sure, I miss talking to people other than my dog and my partner, but there is this great thing called google chat, which I couldn't use before at work. Not to mention facebook.
Let's be honest.
Sucked a little too much of time in the early part of this recession.

In other news.
Since today was so super duper gorgeous out, we decided to go to Miller Park with Dog and exchange some vouchers that we had just received in the mail from me pops.
It was great, Dog was a bit tired towards the end, and I should have worn socks, but it was so nice, my pineal gland was in heaven.

Because we are so ridiculously out of shape, we were exhausted by the end of the walk, plus my feet had blisters.
I think this recession is giving me blisters.
I have never had so many as I have since this recession, MY recession started.

Wouldn't that be a great series of commericials?
This recession, MY recession.
I am a sheer genius, toffee nut latte.
But let's be real.
Although the recession may not be the "plebians" fault, wouldn't it be better if we all took a little responsibility for it?
I am not an economist, so this might make absolutely no sense.
But I liken it to picking up litter on your street.
Something I, unfortunately, am ridiculously familiar with.
The litter is not my fault. It's most likely not even anyone who lives on my block's fault.
But I pick it up, because it's gross and I don't like it.
And my block doesn't need to look more ghetto.
Excuse me, "Milwaukee Proper."
I don't know if I'm naturally a "helper" but if something needs to get done, and I have the means to get it done, then I will just do it.
Does it get frustrating that I do it all the time?
But do I prefer a clean block vs. a nasty one?
And it's blatantly clear that no one else is going to do it.
This is the de rigueur of trying to breathe some sort of life in an urban area.
Which, to be honest, I'm not sure I'm cut out for.
Le Sigh.

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, which traditionally would have been a day off for me, and I guess it still is, in essence. But now I have all the days off AFTER too.

Side note:
I'm thinking of bringing back ye.
I'm trying to think of ways to brighten up my recession and I think having a clean house and bringing back archaic vocab is good (read free) way to do it.
Also spelling old and shop with "e's".
Ye Olde Shoppe.
And now I'm smiling.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Day 5

I can't express the sheer joy that drinking Diet Pepsi and eating pizza rolls whilst hungover brings me.

A gorgeous day to be had and I spend the morning blogging, like a real-live blogger.
After P helps me clean up from last night's shennanigans.
Then I take in last night's SNL, which was actually pretty funny.
E has a really grand idea to take Dog for a walk down by the lake which is really refreshing, albeit we are both completely exhausted now.

This is my last day of "freedom" per say.
Before the recession REALLY hits.
And I'm going to enjoy it.
What's left of it anyway.
I have my apple/potato/cheese soup.
Major League on the telly.
And good television to watch tonight.
Plus the new Neko Case to become acquainted with.

Day 4

Beware the Ides of March.
Well that is the party that we're throwing this evening.
And is if this day wasn't busy enough we decided to do a little volunteering on top.

We have a home visit in Bay View to do at 1030, which would generally be early for me on a Saturday morning. But since I've been sleeping in (pseudo sleeping in) this whole week, 1030 seems do-able.

We do the home visit, which takes pretty much the perfect amount of time.
And we decide to hit Transfer for some pizza.
And let me say this.
I am so glad we did.
It was so delicious and made me full in a good way.
And I think I will try to write a review for my portfolio.
Plus we had Dog riding with us from the home visit, and she always makes me happy.

We then head to recession-proof retail giant for some sheets for the toga party.
Beware the Ides of March=toga party.
Because we are ridiculous people.

We get back and E. decides to spend two hours playing Flight Simulator.
I can't make this up.
I watch a decidedly quaint little picture entitled "Two Weeks" which wasn't amazing, but I didn't hate it.
I rather enjoyed it, in fact.

E. leaves for tennis and I'm left with the office.
The office that I gave up on yesterday.
Today I see a little clearer.
I see the work I put in yesterday will actually speed up the process today.
I put some tunes on, and get to work.
And I work dilligently.
Three hours later, the room is clean-ish (still not as good as I want it to be) but definitely presentable.
Dust is mostly gone, floors vacuumed.
One can breathe in without inducing an asthma attack.
It's a good thing.

A, P and I decide to run to the fabric store to pick up acoutrements for that evening's party.
And then to the grocery store for the necessities for the party.
We work in record time and get back to my place and immediately throw a pot of coffee on and start cutting breads, laying crackers, spreading dip.

We marvel at our own domesticity, for as much as we think we aren't grown-ups.
We're highly domestic in a ridiculous way.
If you put the three of us together, we would be the stereotypical 50's/60's housewife.
P is really good at cleaning, A is good at all things culinary and crafty, and I throw parties with punch and make party food.

And boy, was that taco dip good.

The party was a good time. It felt like a low turn-out but that didn't stop the group from singing "Don't Stop Believin'" or "November Rain" at the top of our lungs.

The food was a hit and I think I have the perfect amount of leftovers.
Yay for booze, food, and merriment, all whilst wearing sheets.
I need to get better at taking pictures because people did a really good job with their togas.
Way to go everyone.
Oh and we even had a bull to sacrifice.
Kind of.

Party was over pretty close to bar time, so I guess that is a success.
I've become so old during this recession.
Or this life.

Day 3

I really let this day slip through my jobless hands.
I had the grand intention of cleaning the office, which could easily be the most disgusting room in all the house.
Sure it smells nice because there is an old bag of potpourri that a foster dog got into about 6 months ago, and it sits in the sun, but seriously.
Papers papers everywhere.
And underneath papers everything you can think of:
Halloween invite stuff from two years ago.
House documents

I felt like I worked for hours and got nothing done.
I was disgusted with E, our lives together and how piggish we truly are.
So I stopped.

It should be noted that before tackling this hellish project I wasted a good part of the day sleeping in, then playing on facebook.
A long long time.

So it could be said that my heart wasn't into the cleaning.
And I had dinner plans that night to celebrate P's birthday.
After what seemed like the most ridiculous string of phone calls to decide where we should eat, we decided on the old standby with beer, wine, and veggie & meaty fare for all.
Family secrets were told.
The recession was discussed.
And by recession I mean my getting laid off.
I met another vicitm outside while smoking.
That felt good.
And we both laughed that we were out, spending money, and drowning our sorrows away with friends with jobs.
Seemingly recession-proof jobs.

Got home at a decent hour and watched a pretty bad movie on some premium cable channel.
"The Babysitters" with John Leguizamo and Cynthia Nixon and some 20-something meant to be high schoolers.
And babysitting turns into whoring yourself out for the creepy old men that live in your neighborhood.
Which is fine.
If you're into that.
I, movie snob that I am, thought it could have been done better.
That's all.
Which, let's be real.
This is easy for me to say as I have never finished a screenplay, much less had one produced.
I mean.
I don't even have a job.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Day 2

Well I hope this day hasn't foreshadowed the rest of my unemployment.
I was highly UNsuccessful today.
As opposed to INsuccessful.
Which means you're REALLY successful.

Today I slept in and had no sense of urgency to get anything done.
I didn't do pilates or yoga.
I didn't take Dog for a walk.
I watched about 5 minutes of Superbad.

Side note:
As ridiculous as this movie is I REALLY think it says alot about homosocial relationships among males and I would even go all the way to say this movie brought about the Bromance revolution.
Which is going on the same time as the recession.
Is this a coincidence?
Someone who studies probablility could probably answer better than me.
But I'm going to guess there is some type of correlation.

M, dear soul that she is, offered to buy me lunch today.
Which makes it my second recession meal.
And by recession meal, I mean free.
I've yet to have a recession drink, or a recession smoke, so feel free to be the first!
We went to Amaranth, which I think will be a great little place to review for my portfolio, which will begin after this week is over.
I have to say with the St. Patrick's Day season upon us, I really couldn't have picked a better time to be laid off.
I didn't even pick it.
The gods must really be in need of my liver.

So M and I and her son went and discussed, not my unemployment, (which was great!) but the state of MPS and whether or not she should put her son in MPS.
I, crazy, kidless liberal that I am, am against the voucher system and pro-PRO public schools.
M, also a crazy liberal but WITH a kid (hey I have a dog!) agrees in theory, but doesn't want to dick around with her son.
And I don't blame her.
I don't.
It was a super awesome, super serious lunch.
I love M and am super glad that she is my friend.
She gives me hope that marrieds and moms can have lives outside of marriage and kids.
And I'm not just saying that because she is one of the two readers of this blog.

After a delicious meal of black bean & sweet potato soup and liberal politics, I came home to find E. watching a ridiculously bad movie called "The Flock."

I decided this was unacceptable as Day 1 was so productive, I couldn't let Day 2 slip away by the wayside.

So we decided to bake.

E made blondie caramel brownies, which are currently cooling on the oven.
I made a deliciously different apple-cheese soup, which I already have ideas on how to make better.
And in fine family tradition, we started drinking when we started baking/cooking.
Oh, Grandma Dorothy.
You are a wise one.

I'm finding it oddly interesting at how creative I am now that I don't have corporate america breathing down my neck. Not that I ever felt confined, persay, by my job.
But I couldn't use my slang when coming up with ways to describe pants.
Although I truly think the world is missing out on the word totes.
And ridick.
I'm just saying.

I also have to give the most ridiculous properss to P for sending the most motivating email of all time.
You are Matt Foley.
But way thinner.
And prettier
And I love you with the love of a thousand puppy parties and j's skateboard.
Which is the cutest thing of all time.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Day 1

Top of the morning.
It's day one of being jobless.

I woke up relatively early (930)for taking down a bottle of wine the night before.
So early, in fact, that my dog stayed in bed while I took in half an episode of Saved by the Bell and did a 20 minute pilates work out.
If I'm expected to get a job I will have to be thinner than the competition.

The sky is blue and thought Dog might enjoy a walk.
Bad Idea Jeans.
It's freezing out, so it's a quick jaunt.
Not that my house is that much warmer.
There is a recession going on AND I just lost my job.
We have to keep our house cooler.
We own the draftiest house in all the land so we don't even bother turning the heat about 62.
And people wonder why I get so flushed while I'm out.
Mostly because I think wherever we are is hotter than hades.

Day 1 has probably been the most productive day off I've had in a long time.
Things that were accomplished whilst unemployed:
*started a blog
*facebooked/g-chatted with friends
*vacuumed the stairs
*cleaned the tv room
*cleaned out the closet in the tv room
*installed a shelf in the tv room
*Rearranged the tv room
*created a pedicure kit for the Dog
*read two chapters in "The Omnivore's Dilemma"
*mooched a pink-slip dinner off of friends (thanks!!!)
*took in an episode of Law and Order--and before you go thinking how slacker-esque that is, this was at the end of the day--like midnight--in my newly cleaned (like REALLY CLEAN) and arranged and decorated tv room.
*took in some Keith Olberman and learned of Bristol Palin's break-up. That was about as surprising as my lay-off.

Personally, I thought it was a highly productive day. Knowing myself, I won't work on my portfolio, novel or screenplay until I have nothing left to do in the house, so that comes first.

My dad called me last night to make sure I was okay, although he knew I would be.
He made sure to ask if I had already purchased my brewer season tickets.
I had.
Now I will have nothing but time to concentrate on the Crew.
Happiness is a crack of a bat.

We have priorities in my family.

My dad also commented on how clean my house should be now that I don't have a job.
As much as he wants to think he's the renegade (cue Styx song here) of his four highly type A sisters (and I'm not including the one type-A half sister), he's exactly like them with his need for clean.

In other news.
I've decided that Neil Young will be my soundtrack to this recession.

The good news is I think I've told everyone the story.
So I don't have to keep repeating it.
It's not like it hurts to talk about, it's just becoming a little passe.
You know.
Laid off, yadda yadda.
Okay, yadda yadda.
It's like when I tell people about my parents' current divorce.
I'm telling you because I find a ridiculous amount of humour in the situation.
And it needs to be shared.


I have been a wage slave for half of my existence.
My parents forced me to get a job as soon as humanly possible, and I worked through all of high school and all of college.
All 7 years of college.

I have what could be known as the world's most useless degree besides underwater basket-weaving.
But when all is said and done I can sound smart while talking about pop culture and movies. Ooh.
And queer theory.

So I went from schlepping bagels and coffee while in school to schlepping dog poop while out of school. I thought the non-profit-save-the-animals schtick would fit right in with my liberal agenda.
But my job wasn't so much about saving the animals as it was about euthanizing them, and making the place look pretty.
And while I still love dogs, I decided to keep my love for them on a volunteer basis, and keep my liver intact.
Because I had the blue juice blues.
And who doesn't love a stiff drink (pun totally intended) after a day of schlepping stiff animals.

And then a beacon of corporate light.
A friend who we all thought had deserted us for prettier, more successful people emailed.
Strike that.
She checked the email address she had given to all of us (former/current wage slaves) after about 6 months of not checking it.
She thought we had deserted her for a dirtier, smokier, hipster-er bunch.
It was like a god damned O. Henry story.
Hearing the desparation in my voice she suggests I forward my resume to her and maybe there can be an in for me in her retail, corporate world.

A resume?
I'd heard of these supposed job-getters.
But every job I've ever had required mostly correct spelling, okay penmanship, and filling in the application form boxes. None of this resume business.
So like any good job-seeker I googled resume writing and wrote the most basic of basic resumes. Making myself sound as if I could see myself doing nothing but corporate busy work.
And I got the job.
Note: Killing animals has to be the best answer to the "What didn't you like about your last job" question.

Enter montage of corporate clothes shopping spree.

Pay raise, and weekends off, and potential room for growth?
Who could ask for anything more?
I hated it.
I missed my friends who were funny and knew who David Bowie and Bob Dylan were. And how to pronounce their names.
I missed talking about pretentious Fellini films and gallows humour.
What did it matter if I had weekends off when my wage slave friends didn't? When my partner didn't?
I stuck it out.
For two years.
I EVENTUALLY made friends who were different than me, true, but at least knew 75% of what I was talking about and liked learning the other 25%.

And then, cruising the internal job postings...I see it.
A position that would actually use SOME of my degree, and would be salaried. I would no longer be a corporate wage slave. Could it be true?

I got the job.
And things were great.
Partner and I were on a budget, paying off some bills with the pay raise. Maybe an extra cocktail here and there, but nothing too crazy.

Sure I had some anxiety that I wouldn't be good.
That the people didn't like me, but knew this was mostly my own anxiety.
Because everyone likes me.
They do.
Except my friends during baseball season.
Then they get a little annoyed.
So things are going good.
All my former merchant friends are asking me if I like it, to which I would always answer a gleefull "yes."

And then the recession starts.
I mean starts at the corporate retail level.
I know Keith and Rachael and Chris have been talking about the recession for a good six months, and we knew something was on the horizon.
Insert nautical metaphor here.

Cut to:
Awkward hugging of my counterpart, who had been there for 10 years, and helping her move her 10 year old office on a cart.

And I'm a little nervous. But what good is it to worry? Besides giving myself ulcers, it does nothing. It's not fun, it's not even cool.
I continued to do my job, to LEARN my job as I was about a month in.
And I have to say.
I thought I was doing a really good job.
I rather enjoyed the work, the work load was perfect now that my counterpart wasn't there, and things were going well.
I wish I could say there was some foreshadowing moment other than the first layoff meeting, but sadly there wasn't.
I mean. I would have seen it.
Remember the useless degree?
I can pick up foreshadowing from miles away.

Tuesday comes.
And I can't even reference the Moody Blues song as it happened Tuesday morning.
My great grand-boss asks if he can see me for a second.
Amazingly enough, I was working dilligently while he came in my office.
No emailing, no facebook checking.
So he has me sit, then my grand-boss comes in looking sad.
And I knew.
I'm totally getting canned.
Laid off.
So he just says it. Before he even sits down.
"We are going to have to let you go."
Sometimes I surprise myself with my ridiculousness.
"Okay" was my reply.
And they both kind of look at each other.
Not believing that I literally just shrugged my shoulders and said, "Okay" with a smile on my face.
They then went on with the whole "it's not you, it's us, we're cutting to the bone, we love you, you love dogs [that seriously came up], etc. etc. etc."
They brought up free-lancing, staying with the company in a different capacity, call us if you need us type thing.
And then severance.

Severance to me is something they talk about on classy shows on CNN or MSNBC. Not something that would ever happen in my wee little life.

And there we all were.
Talking about my severance that would basically mean I get a month long vacation before I really start HURTING from the lay-off.

Of course, I decide to leave before they do the whole "These are the people who no longer live in your neighborhood" meeting and my boss and grand boss look truly upset, which is sweet.

I call my partner.
"Hey I...need you to come pick me up."
"I just got laid off."
"Oh man...Okay"

So it's not like any of us are extremely surprised by this turn of events.

E. makes mention that we have to go to Target (a not-failing retail giant) to pick up something for the house...garbage bags maybe?
"I just got LAID-OFF!!! We can't afford to just go to Target willy-nilly"

I really did say that, quite loudly in the car.
It took me laughing to make E. realize I was joking.

I've decided being laid-off should be good for a couple of weeks (at least) of poor (in every sense of the word) humour.

And free drinks.
Hey you all have jobs.