Friday, June 6, 2014

mom stuff

Maybe it's because I'm restarting/reconfiguring a story/novella i began years ago, but today. I had a decidedly mom moment. A mom-ent. See what I did there.

So I'm trying to write this story, about family, or maybe about a girl. I haven't fully decided yet. One version is about a girl, the other version is about objects that connect a family. At first I thought I would make it solely about female characters, but now am unsure. Everything is up in the air thus far.

But the first object mentioned is a keychain. Which, when thought of in the computer-y sense makes a fun play on words since these objects are supposed to go thru time and are cued up for different reasons. Who knows if this will work. Just some thoughts on the proverbial paper, kids.

So I get to work last night and there is a DISNEY/MICKEY MOUSE KEYCHAIN sitting on the counter.
"Is this yours?!" I asked my co-worker. He claims it was there when he got there.
While there is speculation that the place I work at is haunted (things turn up and disappear at random), I thought this was a rather keen coincidence since the keychain I am writing about at the moment is a Minnie Mouse keychain. I haven't thought about signs and such in a long time, and I'm not entirely sure this isn't all in my head, but it was a nice coincidence when I was feeling bad about my writing.

So I woke up fairly early this morning. Well. Early for me.
And I have a porch.
And I have a french press.
And it is nice out.
And I have coffee.
And almond milk.
Do you see where I am going here?
If I still smoked I'd have cigarettes.

And it reminded me of this one time where my mom and I were up before everyone else. Maybe we had to work, or maybe I couldn't sleep. I don't remember why we were up before everyone else, but we were. And she suggested we have coffee on the porch. She still lives in the house, and we had a pretty nice deck. Big enough to fit a plastic table and some chairs on. We may have smoked a cigarette together, I don't know. But we were just sitting outside, having coffee (we take it the same-ish way milk or creamer, no sugar). And talking. And I can't remember the conversation. It wasn't anything super important. It was just her saying she might do the dishes before she went to work. And maybe I disclosed my plans for the day. I don't know. But for whatever reason that is stuck in my head. And it was nice. And that is what I am doing right now. And it's nice.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Ode To Riverwest

So it has been a while since I've been inspired to blog about something. Not like there isn't a shit-ton of shit to blog about. But. Well. You see

I am incredibly lazy.
Like incredibly.
It doesn't help when I forget to take my anti-anxiety/anti-depressants (because I am on them like every other m-f-ing middle aged person alive--not ashamed) and then I get SUPER sleepy. And super lazy.
Read: depressed.
But this isn't going to be a blog about living (once again) in the Bell Jar. Because other, way famous bloggers and writers do that and they do it much better than me.

Instead. The bell jar seems to have lifted momentarily at least, and I've started writing fiction again (although let's be real, the first draft is SUUUUUUUPPPPERRRRRRR rough. Like super super rough. Like ashamed I wrote it rough. But I digress.)

And today. After an emotional breakdown this morning due to money and me not having any now or forever, I decided to take care of some things (WINK!), take a shower and get some stuff done. (How I will ever wake up on time for a teaching gig is beyond me, will cross that up-with-the-birds-bridge when the time comes). Until then. I will enjoy not being at work until 445 and sleeping in/doing what I want during the day.

One of the great things about serving is the constant cash flow. While I'm supposed to be saving my money for the trip to end all trips, I decided that since my french press has been missing for months, MONTHS I TELL YOU, it was time to replace it. I also had a headache that I felt only coffee could dull.

Which is within walking distance because my neighborhood is the best. On the way to said coffee shop, I passed one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, and a local hardware store. Plus two parks. GREEN SPACE IN THE CITY. CAN YOU BELIEVE.

With coffee and french press purchased, and amazing gospel (yes Leon Patillo, if you must know, followed by Kenny Loggins, because my taste is music is the best) on the ol' Spotify, I decided it would be a good idea to finally purchase a bike light since I am a real-life middle-aged hipster without a car and just a bike.

Oh. You don't have a bike shop you can walk to? Bummer. On the way to the bike shop I passed one of the two schools within walking distance, and a slew of businesses that are awesome. Bike shop had exactly what I was looking for, plus a shop-dog. Whatever. I love dogs. You guys know that.

So I know that I'm basically bragging about my neighborhood but whatever. I felt compelled to write and for me that is good enough.

And I mean. There is more I could talk about. The trails I live by. All of the awesome (and some not so awesome, but everyone needs a not-awesome bar to go to once in a while) bars. And restaurants. And stores.
So it's just the best.
That is all.

Monday, January 13, 2014

It's 2014 Mo-Foes

So I made about four new years resolutions this year. Usually I don't make any. But this year I threw caution to the wind, and decided to live a little.

But before I reveal these amazing goals (and if you follow me on twitter, you already know them! Spoiler alert!), let's recap a couple of the things that I did this year that I feel warrant merit.

I wrote a thesis. I defended said thesis. I passed.
Read: I have my master's degree in film, media, and digital studies.
I didn't know this was possible. I'm pretty sure that I am the first person in my family to get a master's? Maybe? Not entirely sure, but certainly no one in recent memory. And let's be real. It's not like I come from a family of academics. Neither parent went to college so suffice it to say, an advanced degree is a pretty big deal. At least it was for me. Especially since this degree began as I was ending a 10 year relationship, a house was being foreclosed on, I was working full time, and training for a marathon.  As if my life wasn't busy enough, I decided to add the stress of a new relationship to the mix, you know, for funzies. I don't regret any of it, and. Well. I did it. I have yet to receive said diploma in the mail, but when I do, I will most assuredly post a photo of it here. Because I deserve to brag and show off.

Uh. Yeah.
I totally ran a marathon. I kind of half-assed training (well I felt like a half-assed training), but I squeaked into medal-land. So. I can say I ran a marathon. I killed my sciatic doing it, and the last 6 miles were torture, but I can't wait to do it again. Taking my training a bit more seriously, and hopefully finishing will a little bit more buffer. But I ran from Grafton to Milwaukee. And I ran almost the whole thing (minus the sciatic six).

I was a strict vegan for about 9 months. I have since fallen off of the vegan train (because I seriously missed cheese. A lot). But it taught me a lot about discipline (yeah, I trained and ran a marathon whilst vegan), and being creative with food! Plants are pretty amazing, and flavors really come through when not doused with dairy. I still try to work vegan recipes (that don't use a lot of substitutes) into my repetoire. Not ready for veganism? Try to work in a vegetarian meal once a week.

Ugh. THIS STUFF. Well. I somehow managed not to dick up a pretty great thing I have with my bf! He still wants to hang out with me, and AND he seems to want me to stick around. What? Weird, I know. We've decided to add a new chapter to our lives entitled COHABITATION. We're both excited (although I have to say I was a bit nervous until I realized I would still get my precious alone time that I have become so accustomed to whilst living single queen latifah style)

Rather than pursuing a PhD in English (which was the reason I initially got my MA), I have decided to switch gears. I have always always always wanted to teach. 50% of those I talk to say I would be great at it/will like it. The other 50% tell me to run. I have no idea which half I will fall into, but it's important to me to try to make a difference. And what better way than teach my love of books and film to others? It's something I believe in and I think it so important and can help people see the world and themselves differently. So. I've decided to get my teaching certificate! I might be most assuredly crazy, but I won't know unless I try it.

I think that is pretty much my year in a nutshell. Got my master's, said goodbye to a dear, dear, misunderstood friend, ran a marathon, and celebrated a year with boy I love.  Unsure what the new year will bring (more school stuff, another year with the bf I hope, another marathon), but here are some things that I would like it to bring.


I hope to read 40 books this year, and watch 40 films. I have already read two books! And am currently reading Wuthering Heights (again) because it is winter and it is what I do. Tomorrow I will be watching One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, which I have seen before, but haven't watched critically.

I hope to lost 30 pounds this year. A crazy goal? Perhaps? But I am pretty sure I can do it. After my binge of chinese food tonight (whatever, I'm running tomorrow, get off my back)

I totally just made that one up. But I hope to write more. My thesis committee told me that I have a good brain, that I am smart, but I have no confidence (which is totally true) and no work ethic (also true when it comes to school). So. Even if it's just random ramblings here (which my friends seem to enjoy?) or me pontificating on rapture films or other films/books. I should do it more. I don't know if this will lead to fiction or just more blogs/random pieces but. It's what I hope for.

In other news:
I still love dogs (as if that was ever in question). I still love living in Riverwest. I love serving/bartending (but I truly miss my old work crew). My bf is awesome. My friends are awesome. I'm a lucky gal.