Day 87

Today was kind of a waste.
I did a lot of reading, when I should have been cleaning or gardening.
But!
1. It was freezing in my house which led me to believe it was freezing outside which led me to believe that it would be too cold to garden.
2. Because it was so cold in our house I was too afraid to move to much to keep from getting a chill so I bundled up on the couch and read.

We did have plans for later in the evening which included meeting up with some old BT work peeps at the Old German Beer Hall for SN's birthday. Which I have never been before. I did like the bar, but felt the beer was kind of expensive. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but just kind of expensive. I ended up switching to wine (Riesling) after my first 1/2 liter as I have the bladder the size of a pea, and I hadn't eaten anything that day (because I think I was going to go running...and I don't like to run after I've eaten), so I had to take it down a notch.

I was the first one there, which didn't surprise me, as E had a meeting with some film/tv folks for a potential shoot in the next month or so and that was at 5, and since they all have jobs I knew I would be there early.

Which was fine with me as I had brought a book to read, and the bar wasn't crowded at all and it had German music on which was fairly easy to ignore. Plus I was reading a great chapter on hecklers in baseball (in case you weren't aware, I'm currently reading only baseball books right now, after this one is done, I have a fiction book to read, not baseball related. I know how to keep my obsessions under control).

While I love hanging out with my old work friends, there is some awkwardness always with the ones I don't see, or make a point to see on a regular basis. With SN and JL there is no weirdness cos I talk to them enough, but with the others it's always "What have you been up to?" and I feel like I should have something concrete to show them and I don't.
Don't get me wrong, I tell them all about the garden, the jogging, the baking, the cooking, the reading, etc. but that just makes it seem like I'm on an extended vacation. Which, let's be real, is how I look at this unemployment, this "ass time" as MB so gracefully put it.

Then there is always the question of "coming back."
"Would you come back?"
And I should clarify, it's not coming back as a copywriter, which to be honest, I loved. I really, really enjoyed that job.
It's to come back as a Merchandise Assistant, which is like a secretary or an admin. Which there is nothing wrong with, I'm pretty sure I've applied for some admin jobs out there.
And when I say no, it's "Don't you miss us?"
Yes, but not to the point where I want a shitty job back, just to have some fun down time.
I think the problem is, is that I am a really good actress, so while I hated my job on the inside, so much that it was making me sick in the morning (true story) I would buck up and put on a happy face.
And in all reality it wasn't the actual work I hated, I didn't hate the people, I hated the stress that was all around me all of the time. I hated that I was using none of my skills (and I do have some skills!) ever, except when someone in the pod had a trivia question. I was always the go-to person for that.
Not to mention, this is a company that just laid me off (okay so maybe not JUST), forgive me if I don't have the full confidence to jump right back on that potentially sinking ship.

But. I did get to meet SN's family which was super cute.

E had to open in the morning, so we decided to head out early. Plus I had only eaten the cheese curds that we had ordered and food was needed. We decided to drive down Wells, hoping something in the Marquette vicinity would be open.
And it was.
We settled for Qdoba which happened to have to cops eating inside.
I mention this because upon exiting the car, I was not driving, I promptly fell on my butt.
I fell out of the car.
Seriously.
I looked, like a drunk college girl.
And I wasn't drunk.
Nor am I in college.
In my defense, and E can attest to this.
I was wearing heels and E had parked right next to a pot-hole, which I promptly stepped in, causing my fall.
But I seriously felt like a moron.

In other news.
The Brewers FINALLY won a game vs. the Fish.
Here's to hoping we can pull one out tomorrow so we can at least split the series.