Hey little sister, what have you done?
Today E and I got to go to a Catholic wedding.
And, contrary to popular belief.
We did not burst into flames upon entering the building.
And, contrary to our belief;
The ceremony was not an hour and a half.
We learned later this was due to the large amount of Lutherans in the audience.
I don't know who the Catholics hate more:
Lutherans, Athiests, gays or Jews.
A conundrum, if ever there was.
As E and I had hung out with M&Z the night before, I was a little, how you say...hungover.
Nothing a cup of coffee and a couple aleve couldn't fix.
Of COURSE I sleep in and we still haven't purchased a wedding gift.
And we need to shower and iron and everything else normal people would allot time for.
But.
As I'm sure you've figured out by now, E and I are not normal people.
We barely consider ourselves grown-ups.
So we run to the BS Supercenter for a gift card (why we didn't do this between the ceremony and reception I have no idea...because we aren't grown-ups). We shower/press/primp and leave the house about 15 minutes before the wedding is due to start.
Which technically should have been enough time as we do not live far from down town.
Except.
(Oh there is always one of these...)
Riversplash was going on.
So every street that we wanted to turn down was closed.
No worries.
We get there, according to the clock on the church, with about 5 minutes to spare, which, to be honest was earlier than we got to M&M's wedding a couple weeks prior.
We walk in and the whole wedding party is there, waiting to go down the aisle.
Since when do weddings start on time???
NOBODY directs us which way to go to get into the sanctuary.
It would have been fine if they would've just told us to wait until the wedding got underway or whatever, but they just looked at us and then looked straight ahead.
Apparently they've all taken a vow of silence.
So we see a door to the left and head that way.
And I run directly into the priest.
Literally.
Smacked into him.
He didn't seem upset or anything, but also didn't give us direction into the way into the church.
So we sneak in, the whole congregation looking at us and take a seat in the last unoccupied row and hope for the best.
The ceremony is fine.
E and I are convinced that the priest is gay, we get confused during the Catholic rituals that aren't especially welcoming of others, and again I'm baffled by the weirdo Lord's Prayer that they say...AND there was some weird book of the Bibes that was quoted that I'm SURE isn't in the KJV.
Catholics have their own Bibes?
I think I knew this at one time, but have since forgot. Since I know almost no one that is a practicing Catholic.
What we SHOULD have done in the two hour interval of the ceremony and cocktail hour was go home.
What we DID do was go to Sbux for a coffee and newspaper.
Which was fine for the first hour and a half as I had the Shepherd crossword to work on, but after that we were both getting antsy.
Plus it was cold and rainy.
Finally 5 came and we noshed on mostly vegetarian appetizers (delicious!) and (free!!) champagne, wine and beer.
YES.
I talked to the bride a bit and then it was time to eat dinner, which was okay.
We got bread which was great, and a salad which was also good.
The dinner itself was okay.
It confirmed my belief that I don't like portabella mushrooms (this was the vegetarian option), but it did have a nice veggie medley on the side and whatever was on top of the mushroom (a cheese/pesto mix?) went well with the pasta underneath the mushroom.
But I DID try the mushroom.
So there.
We stayed until about 11, didn't dance at all (really odd selection of music if I do say so myself) but had a great time talking with former co-workers. I heart the gays, what can I say?
E had to open the next day, and we had a family softball game to go to.
I had to bring the A-game, so we said our goodbyes and snuck out.
All in all, good times.
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