Saturday, April 11, 2009

Day 33

And what a day it was.
The Brewers home opener versus the dreaded Cubs.

The good news was that there seemed to be way less crazy-drunkards than there were last year.
E and I had a quaint little tailgate with veggie burgers, bloody marys and some potato chips.

Our seats were in our usual section, but on the end/aisle.
And that is when the trouble began.
Since it's opening day there are idiots wandering all over the place, oblivious to those who are actually there to watch baseball.
So for some pitches we had to stand up to see how they were called.
Well the guys behind us didn't like that we were standing up.
And they kept making comments.
This was the deal:
If you stayed sitting you couldn't see the pitches.
If you stood up you could.
So the two jerks sitting behind us, who were against standing at baseball games apparently, kept making snide comments.
So finally I turned around.
And dropped some F-bombs.
I asked what the big deal was if they couldn't see when we stood up when they wouldn't have been able to see anyway.
I tried to be cool, "It's opening day, let's just be cool."
But they were drunken AND kept yelling gay.
For no reason, which is bothersome.
The best part was when they took it too far.
A large Cubs fan was waiting to get into his aisle, (in between innings, mind you) and the jerks behind us started yelling things in reference to this guy's weight, sexuality and team affiliation and, of course, the fact that he was standing up.
And to be fair, these guys weren't in wheelchairs nor were they paralyzed.
I likened them to a way meaner and less entertaining version than the old men that would open The Muppet Show.

And to be clear.
I am all for good natured ribbing.
Sure, Cubs fans are notoriously douchey, but not all of them.
(Something about one bad apple...)
But the large Cubs fan was not douchey, he was just returning to his seat.
As people do at sporting events.

Well, the jerks behind us yelled something like, "Hey Fat-Ass Gay Wad Cubs fan sit your lard ass down, are you gay?!?"
Seriously that is the jist of what they were saying...who talks like that?!)
And the big guy turned around, stormed up the stairs and and grabbed the jerk's shirt and got in his face.
The look of sheer terror on the jerk's face was the perfect comeuppance for his previous actions against me and E.

The Crew won!
With a walk-off hit no-less!
It's always a good day when the Cubs lose.

As an added bonus?
The time it took us to get home from the time we got in our car and in our house?
10 minutes!!!!!!!!!!
It was an Opening Day Miracle.
I have no idea how it happened, but we weren't complaining.
The Brewers won, we got home safely and super-quickly, and I continued my Opening Day tradition of getting into a fight with a stranger.
And I am so not a fighter.
Ask all the pregnant looking girls at Lee's.

Speaking of Lee's.
I was in a good mood due to the success of the Brewers so P and I decided to head to Lee's since we hadn't been there in probably over a month.
Needless to say, we were welcomed back with smiles and gifts!
No lies!
M. had a present for me.
Which is always lovely.
J. came! Which was a pleasant surprise cos I hadn't seen her in a very long time.
It was just like old times.
Talking about a wide range of topics from apartments to transgender issues to autism to baby heelie to good old fashioned gossip.
Well played, team.
Well played.

1 comment:

  1. I am WELL aware this was over a year ago...but as a (hopefully) not-douchy Cubs fan, Thank you! I too witnessed some douche-baggery when attending Miller Park. You are 1,000% correct about bad I am not in the business of making hast generalizations. I am merely sharing in an experience. While I do like to feign my hatred of all things "beer makers" I have some VERY close friends that are DIE-HARD Brewers fans. While good natured (occasionally mean but never meant as personal attacks) ribbing comes with the's still understood that we are friends first, fans second. I know some of my brethren in Cubby Blue can be the douchiest of douchy...I hope all of us are taken at face value. That said, if ANY fan of ANY sport were acting that ridiculous, they should be called out. While I have to admit my usage of the word "gay" is not always politically correct, it is not the focal point of my conversational skills...EVER. That just makes you sound unintelligent and verbally unable to form actual thoughts. It's really sad. Anyway, I think I am rambling...sorry! Psst...I love your have sufficiently "wasted" my time here at work on this dreaded Saturday morning! Thank you for THAT as well! (By "wasted" I mean, couldn't-stop-reading-was-thoroughly-entertained-informed-giggle-satisfied-and-thankful)